Last night I watched TV,
I saw my favorite show. 
I heard this strange commercial, 
And I can't believe it's so.

Feed your dog Chiffon.
Comet cures the cold.
Use S-O-S pads on your face
To keep from looking old.

Mop your floors with Crest.
Use Crisco on your tile.
Clean your teeth with Borateem, 
It leaves a shining smile.

For headaches take some Certs.
Use Tide to clean your face.
And do shampoo with Elmer's Glue,
It holds your hair in place.

Perhaps I am confused, 
I might not have it right.
But one thing that I'm certain of, 
I'll watch TV tonight!

Cornflakes and Milk

Your eyes are like diamonds 
Your hair is like silk (Ba da da da dum)
I'll love you always 
Like cornflakes and milk (Ba da da dadum)

Chorus:

So please help me to love you as much as 
I love cornflakes and milk (Ba da da da dum)
Cornflakes and milk
I love you so.

I don't like oatmeal,
Or even Cheerios (Ba da da da dum) 
You've got the secret
That only Kellogs knows (Ba da da da dum)

The devil with Wheaties
Drop dead Sugar Crisp (Ba da da da dum)
I'll love you always 
In spite of your lisp (Ba da da da dum)

Cornflakes and milk 
And my darling you too (Ba da da da dum) 
Without you
Life would be icky-poo (Ba da da da dum)