Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low.

Do your ears stand high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when ththey're wet?
Do they stiffen when they dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbor.
With a minimum of labor?
Do your ears hang high?

Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze,
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation
with a feeling of elevation?
Do your ears hang wide?

Do your ears fall off,
When you give a great big cough?
Do they lie there on the ground,
Or bounce up at every sound?
Can you stick them in your pocket,
Just like Davy Crocket?
Do your ears fall off?