A bold hippopotamus was standing one day 
On the banks of the cool Shalimar 
He gazed at the bottom as it peacefully lay 
By the light of the evening star 
Away on a hilltop a-combing her hair 
His fair hippopotami maid 
This hipp-o-pot-amus was no ig-nor-a-mus 
And sang her his sweet serenade 

*Chorus:-* 
Mud, mud glorious mud, 
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood, 
So follow me, follow, 
Down to the hollow, 
And there let us wallow in glorious mud. 

The fair hippopotami he aimed to entice 
From her seat on the hilltop above 
As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice 
Came tip-toeing down to her love 
Like thunder and lightning re-echoed the sound 
Of the song that they sang as they met 
His in-am-or-ata adjusted her garter 
And lifted her voice in duet (falsetto) 

*Chorus* 

Now more hippopotami began to convene 
On the banks of the river so wide 
wonder now what I am to say of the scene 
That ensued by the Shalimar side 
They dived in at once with an ear-splitting SPLOSH 
And rose to the surface again 
A regular army of hi-ppo-pot-ami 
All singing this haunting refrain 

*Chorus*