Campfire Songs
Run by the Retired Scouter.

Retired Scouter Campfire Songs 


If I Were Not A Girl Guide


This is a very complicated song, but it's really realy funny to
watch! The whole group (usually
about 6-10 people) stand in a straight line, very prim and
proper. In an opera-like voice, they
sing the chorus. Then the first girl at the end of the line (the
Archer, see below) steps in front of
the line and says her lines. Follow the course of the song and
you'll understand what's
happening! The key is to make the verses as silly as possible,
and the chorus as serious as
possible... although this is very difficult after the third or
fourth verse joins in!

Chorus:

If I were not a Girl Guide, something else I'd like to be (clap,
stamp!)
If I were not a Girl Guide...

Verses:

Archer:
An Archer I would be!
Shoot the bow, the mighty mighty bow I said,
Shoot, the bow, the mighty mighty bow!

(Everyone sings chorus again)

Birdwatcher:
A Birdwatcher I would be!
There's a lark and there's a lark and there's another lark (UGH!)
There's a lark and there's a lark and there's another lark (UGH!)

(or, alternatively,)
Hark! A lark! Flying through the park! (UGH!)
Hark! A lark! Flying through the park! (UGH!)

(Once the Birdwatcher has said her line twice, the Archer joins
in. Therefore the
Birdwatcher says her line four times, and the Archer says her
line twice. Then everyone sings the chorus again)

Farmer:
A farmer I would be!
Sow the seed, and fertilize the weeds!
Sow the seed, and fertilize the weeds!

(Once the Farmer has said her line twice, the Birdwatcher joins
in... after the Birdwatcher has said her line twice, the Archer
joins in... get
the picture? This
continues with each verse until you have seven or eight people
all saying/singing different things at the same time!)

(Everyone sings the chorus again)

Hippie:
A hippie I would be!
Hey man, cool man, far out, WOW!
Hey man, cool man, far out, WOW!

(Farmer joins in, then Birdwatcher, then Archer, then everyone
sings the chorus)

Leader:
A Leader I would be!
Where's your socks and where's your shoes and don't forget your
hat!
Where's your socks and where's your shoes and don't forget your
hat!

(Hippie joins in, then Farmer, Birdwatcher and Archer, then
everyone sings the chorus again)

Boy Scout:
A Boy Scout I would be!
EEW! A bug! Squish it in the rug!
EEW! A bug! Squish it in the rug!!

(Leader joins in, then Hippie, Farmer, Birdwatcher, Archer, then
everyone sings the chorus one last time!!)

More verses!!

Plumber: A plumber I would be! Plunge it, flush it, look out
below!
Carpenter: A carpenter I'd be! Two by four, nail it to the floor!

Cashier: A cashier I would be! Twenty nine, forty nine, here is
your change, sir!
Superman: Superman I'd be! It's a bird, it's a plane, where is
Lois Lane?
Washerwoman: Hanging all the washing out, Peg it on the line to
dry.
Bus Conductor: Any more fares please! Any more fares please! Pass
down the line.
Ching. Ching.
Barrow boy: Ripe tomatoes, two bob a pound!
Vicar: Hands together, Hymn number 43.
Sergeant Major: Fall in. Fall in. Tallest on the right.
Secretary: Typing all the letters out, Sitting on the bosses
knee.
Mermaid: Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop!
Secretary: z-z-z-z get the point, z-z-z-z get the point?
Teacher: Sit down, shut up, throw away your gum!
Airline attendant: Coffee, tea, or me, sir; here's your little
bag, BLEH!
Typist: Ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka, ZING!
Laundry worker: Starchy here, starchy there, starchy in your
underwear!
Gym teacher: We must, we must, improve the bust!
Medic: Turn around, drop your pants, jab, jab, jab!
Doctor: Take a pill; pay my bill! I'm going golfing!
Electrician: Positive, negative; turn on the juice-ZZZT!
Fireman: Jump lady! Jump lady! Whoo-ooah! GOTCHA!
Cook: Mix it, bake it; heartburn-BURP!
Ice cream maker: Tutti-frutti, tutti-fruitti, nice ice cream!
Politician: Raise the taxes, lower the pay, vote for me on
election day!
Butcher: Chop it up, grind it up, make a little patty!
Garbage collector: Lift it, dump it, sort out the goodies!
Pizza maker: 30 minute, fast delivery!
Clam digger: Dig one here, dig one there-Oh my frozen derriere!
Superman: It's a bird, it's a plane, where is Lois Lane?
Lois Lane: Get away, get away, get away, Clark Kent!
Cyclist: peddle, peddle, peddle, peddle; ring, ring, ring!
House cleaner: Ooh, a bug; squish it in the rug!
Baby: Mama, Dada, I wuv you!
Preacher: Well, well, you never can tell; you might go to heaven,
or you might go to hell!
Dolly: Mama, kiss me, take me home! (kissy sound)
Truck Driver: Oh dear, can't steer, put this stupid thing in
gear! (drive an imaginary car)
Typist: Type, and type, until you get it right! (pretend to type)
Star: Dahling, dahling, let's do lunch! (wave hand)
Stewardess: Here's your coffee, here's your tea, here's your
plastic bag, BLAH!
(pretend to serve drinks, and then throw up)
Dishwasher: Scrub, and scrub, and get out all the grub! (scrub
plates)
Raver: Its 3:00 a.m., let's groove, let's get this party movin'!