Campfire Songs
Run by the Retired Scouter.

Retired Scouter Campfire Songs 


It Ain't Gonna Rain No More

Lew Dite sings the tune. The words vary from what is here.

Youtube address: KxcGeW3r4BM


It aint gonna rain no more no more
It aint gonna rain no more
So how the heck can I wash my neck
If the soap's in the house next door

OR

It aint gonna rain no more no more
It aint gonna rain no more
How the hell can the old folks tell
If it aint gonna rain no more

Mary had a little Lamb
She fed it castor oil
And everywhere that Mary went
it fertilized the soil

Mary had a little Lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the windowsill
To see if they would fall off

Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
And so she took some castor oil
To pass the time away

The castor oil it did not work
The watch refused to pass
So if you want to know the time
Just look up ... at the clock

Mary had a little Lamb
It followed her to school
They tied a brick around its neck
And drowned it in the pool.

Mary had a bicycle
She rode it back to front
And every time she turned a bend
The spokes went up her leg

Mary had a little Lamb
She took it to the zoo
It got raped by an elephant
And had a kangaroo

Mary had a little Lamb
Her father shot it dead
She still takes the lamb to school
Between two bits of bread

Mary had a little Lamb
You've heard that tale before
But have you heard she passed her plate
And had a little more

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10 000 volts shot up its ...leg
And turned its wool to nylon

Mary had an little lamb
It danced in skips and hops
It danced into the road one day
And ended up as chops

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But I've never seen her bare

Mary had a little dress
Its seam was split up high
And every where that Mary went
The boys could see her thigh

Mary had another dress
Its seam was split up front
But she never wore that one!

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Old McDonald had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Maar 'n ram het die lam gevang
En kyk hoe lyk hy nou!

They sat upon the grassy bank
And she was all a-quiver...
He undid her suspender belt
And her leg fell into the river!

Mary had a little lamb
and tied it to the heater
every time it turned around
it burned its little peter!

Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint sauce
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb went too, of course

Mary had a little lamb
And it was always grunting
She tied to the garden fence
And kicked it's ... favourite soccerball

Mary is a proper girl
She goes to church on Sundays
She prays that she will have the strength
To chase the boys on Mondays

A peanut sat on a railroad track
His heart was all a-flutter
A chooka train came round the bend
TOOT TOOT Peanut butter

A hen and a chicken went for a walk
Just to stretch their legs
A motorcar came round the bend
TOOT TOOT Ham and eggs

Oh! the night was dark and dreary
The air was full of sleet
The old man stood out in the storm
His shoes were full of feet

Oh! Mosquito he fly high
Mosquito he fly low
If old man 'Skeeta light on me
He ain't gonna fly no more

Oh, of all the fishes in the sea
My favorite is the bass
He climbs up in the seaweed trees
And slides down on his hands and knees

An old man lay down by a sewer
And by a sewer he died
Now, at the coroner's request
They called it sewer-side

A golf ball sailin' thru the air
Whizzed by a man a hummin'
He heard a caddy holler, "Fore!"
An' he thought three more were comin'

"The way to tell the twins apart"
The proud father said
"I put my finger in Willie's mouth
If he bites it, then it's Ned"

When boating, never quarrel
For you'll find, without a doubt
A boat is not the proper place
To have a falling out

"The coffee is exhausted, Sir"
The diner was advised
Says he, "It's been so weak of late
I'm really not surprised"

There's a gal up in the hills
She's awfully shy and meek
She undresses in the dark
Because the mountains peak

Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Mary went to heaven
The steamboat went "Toot, toot"

When Mary had a little lamb
The doctor almost cried
But when Ol' MacDonald had a farm
The doctor almost died

Said baby tern to mother tern
"Can I have a brother"
"Yes" said mom to baby tern
"One good tern deserves another"

Oh for a home where the buffalo roam
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldon is heard a discouraging word
For what can an antelope say?