I know an old bloke and his name is Lord Jim,
And he had a wife who threw tomatoes at him,
Now tomatoes are juicy, don't injure the skin,
But these ones they did, they was inside a tin.

Ho-je-ra, what d'you say?
For the queen of society lives down our way.

I know an old lady, her name is Miss Brown,
She was having a bath and she couldn't come down,
She said that she would be down in a tick,
She slipped on the soap and she did come down quick.