*Chorus*: 
You can't keep a cow in a council flat, 
It's a thing that they just don't allow, 
I've been right to the top and the Lord mayor said stop, 
So you'll have to get rid of that cow, 

A budgies OK in a bungalow, 
We don't take objection to that, 
But think of the wear and the tear on the stair, 
If you keep a cow in a flat, 

*(repeat* *chorus)* 

Why not start a collection of tropical fish, 
We'll make an exception for that, 
But I've told you before what it does to the floor, 
If you keep a cow in a flat 

(repeat *Chorus*)